Chelsea's Will to Win!

Welcome Chelsea Brown

 

Here is Chelsea's heartfelt story.  We love her and she absolutely deserves to be healthy and happy!  Read her story and give her the love and support she needs to change her life!
Chelsea we are behind you all the way and will be there to cheer for you and buoy you up when things aren't perfect!  You are amazing and deserve the best out of life!  Bring it girl!

Measurements
Height 5'4"
Weight 180
Goal weight 150
Belly button 38.75
Hips 39.75
Waist 35
Neck 14.125
Legs 25
Arms 12
Bust 41.75

 

 As far back as I can remember I have always been the chubby friend. I have never been huge just chubby.  I can remember going over to my friends house and on the date of my birthday on a calendar it said "Piggy's birthday."  Her sister had written it.  It has never left my head.  I always had friends in school, but I felt like they were always doing more than me.  It was hard for me to fully fit in with them.  While they were at Homecoming dances and Prom I was home eating the gallon of ice cream. I always played it off like I didn't care but I did.  Nobody wanted to go to those dances with the chubby girl.  All my friends were size zero to six, and what I wouldn't give to be in a single digit.

I remember a few years ago going to the grocery store with a coworker who was obviously pregnant. The checker asked if we were sisters.  We said no we were coworkers.  She said " Oh how fun you guys are pregnant together!"  I wanted to slap her!  I quickly started acting as though it did not bother me "I am not pregnant, I am just fat!" The checker was speechless.  I just went about with my coworker.  I didn't want her to know it bothered me.  I wanted to cry and hide under a rock.  Many times in my adult life I have been asked if I am pregnant, and the answer is as simple as No, I am just fat!

As an adult I avoid certain stores where I know I am going to see people who I know.  I don't want them to see me and talk about how fat I still am.  Ever since I was 16 and felt like I had over eaten (like really over eaten) I would put my finger down my throat and make myself throw up.  It was not enough to call myself bulimic, just enough to make me feel better for the moment.  But really it didn't, it just hurt me more emotionally.

For work I will pack pretty healthy lunches, but the minute someone says they are going to get something to eat (most likely fattening) I go. I just let my lunch go to waste.  I call it my "pretend lunch."  I am ok with working out.  I actually find it fun.  My problem is I go get a cheeseburger and a coke right after and then go home and eat dinner with my husband.  It's disgusting!  I'm a closet eater.

Whenever I take a picture I avoid getting my body in it.  If my body has to be in it I hide behind something.  I don't want to see pictures of my body.  So to post my pictures on here is a huge deal to me.  I just have a lot to prove to myself.  And if that means to post pictures of me and to hold myself accountable by people watching me, I will.  I need to make a difference in my body and mind.

I recently had a conversation with my husband that opened my eyes.  I am easily influenced by others.  If they are eating 10 cookies and some double cheeseburgers, I will.  I feel at times I don't deserve to be healthy.  I've never been fit and fully healthy, so why should I try.  Elise really made me think when I told her this.  She told me I deserve it!  I owe it to myself!  And you know what, she's right!  I am so excited (and scared) for this journey I'm about to take on!  Bring it on!