Nancy Will Never Give Up!

 

I've kind of felt strongly for the past little while that I need to share my story with you. I don't know what you'll do with it, and you can post it on the blog if you like or just keep it in the inbox. Either way, I just feel like I need to tell my story. I'm not quite sure where to start, so I'll just start from the beginning!

My weight has always been an issue for me. I wasn't ever huge, but I do remember always being bigger. I was wearing sports bras in 3rd grade and I started my period when I was 10. I guess you can say I was a very early bloomer. Because of that, I always felt a little overweight. I always had a tummy, especially when I sat down. I hated it, and I always hid it under big hoodies or sweatpants.

In 9th grade, I made the softball team and lost a ton of weight. I started feeling more confident about myself. All through high school, as I played softball and stayed active, I felt really good. Even in college, I was able to change my "Freshman 15" gained to "Freshman 15" lost. I was on top of the world and was in the best shape of my life. I still always had that little bit of tummy, but it didn't worry me too badly as I was still able to wear clothes that I never thought I'd be able to wear. I weighed 145, wore size 10 jeans, and I was happy.

When I got married in 2010, I weighed a healthy 150. Then I started birth control. The bloating, the water retention, the constant need to munch, plus being married and quitting all activity whatsoever, I started gaining. To make matters worse, I got a new desk job that provided lunch every day: hearty baked potato bars and thick creamy soups, every day. I gained even more. By the time I stopped birth control and got pregnant, I weighed 179 and was wearing almost size 16 pants (I guess it depended on the brand :-P).

My weight gain through my pregnancy was good, and I only got to 203 when I delivered in February 2012. Within 3 months, I was back down to 174! I felt awesome and I didn't think I had to do anything about my weight. When I stopped nursing in August 2012, the pounds piled on without me even realizing. By the time Hailey was one, I was 192lbs and unable to wear any of my pants.

What had happened, Nancy?? How did you let yourself go so badly? That is what I kept asking myself when I first stepped on that scale. My confidence was shot, and my face kept breaking out. I didn't know where to even begin.

Now I need to back up. I had to deliver Hailey 3 weeks early due to toxemia, aka pre-eclampsia. It wasn't severe, but bad enough that Hailey needed to come out rather than stay in. The Dr said it didn't have anything to do with my weight or glucose level, that it was something that just randomly happens. But I knew I couldn't let that happen again. After doing some research, I found that the chances for getting pre-eclampsia in a 2nd pregnancy are reduced if you lose some weight before you get pregnant. I knew this was what I needed to do. I also knew that I needed my body to be in the best shape it could be before I got pregnant again, because I felt, I feel, like this next one is going to be a hard one. And one more thing about feelings, I also know that when I do get pregnant, that I really am going to be in the best shape of my life. I don't know how I know, but I guess it's just one of those things mothers know.

So back to where I was...I had NO clue where to begin. I thought, there is no way I am going to lose enough weight by August without some major help and dedication. My access to a gym is extremely limited, and my motivation and determination was even more limited. I had tried doing yoga at home every day. That lasted maybe a week. I had tried running, calorie tracking, and nothing seemed to help or last.

On March 23, I got on Facebook. I saw that my friend had "liked" this page, "3Fat2FitSisters." I thought, Oh, that's interesting, I'll give it a look. You see pictures all the time of fat girls turning fit, so it's hard to believe when you see it again, but for some reason, hearing your stories and seeing your pictures felt different. It felt real, and it felt possible. Not even possible, but completely do-able!! I got scared when the 12 Week Challenge only started in 2 days, but then I realized that it wasn't by chance that I had come across their page just in time. I knew that THIS was my answer that I was looking for and praying for. And so I started!

Week 1 was fantastic. I lost 4 amazing pounds. I was sore from head to foot and shaking and sweaty and loving it. My face cleared up and I felt so happy! Week 2 was also good, but I had to miss a work out. I lost 2lbs. Week 3 was ok, but I missed 2 work outs, and ate more like I did before. Week 4 was even worse. I hadn't lost anything since Week 2. I was almost about to quit. Literally. I was going to throw my folder of workouts, notes, journaling, points, goals, EVERYTHING, out the window. Not to mention getting online and seeing these other amazing girls, Allie, Janelle, Nicole, all working so hard and losing, and me doing nothing. I was so mad at myself, I couldn't bear it.

How could I do that?? I had worked SO hard those first couple weeks and had amazing results. I had even told myself that I wouldn't ever, ever go back to the way I was before, and that I was going to take control. I just realized that I was missing my community of support. I thought, if I just go in and do this challenge secretly, then suddenly show up with a beautiful body, people would be so wowed! But then I realized that I needed the support of you girls. I need the support of every girl reading the blog. I need someone by my side to cheer me on through the workouts that by myself, I have so often been tempted to cut short and finish early. And I definitely need someone there to help me say no to seconds at dinner!

So this is why I am sharing my story. I need you guys to help me help myself. What is better than one heart is a thousand hearts all beating as one for the same goal. That goal is self-worth, happiness, strength, and independence.

I know this is long, but I feel like it needed to be said. Share with the world or keep it for yourself. I don't care, but I do care that you guys are there for me.

Thanks for listening!