This last week had its good and its bad moments. I feel like for the most part I did fairly well with my diet and great with my exercise! After our intense workout at the bootcamp class I had a conversation with some people in my family about how I don't feel like I have a lot of support from them during this journey of mine. I wrote down after "Its weigh in day! 193.8. I'm 6 lbs down since I started almost 2 weeks ago. This morning we did the card work out, HOLY FLIPPIN COW! It was so killer but rewarding. The last day or so I've just wanted to eat everything in sight! And I just feel like this is the point where I normally give up. Not this time. I will push through it.
I Feel like I don't have much support from my family. It makes me feel bad at times. I talk to them about my success and I feel as if A. They don't care or B. as someone said to me it "makes them feel bad". How can I achieve this if what I'm doing is making other people feel bad? That makes me not want to succeed. I'm a people pleaser... I go to all the people at bootcamp for my support. I feel like I get great support from Chelsea, the 3 sisters, and others at the class. But not from anyone else. This is the deciding factor. Who am I doing this for? Myself? Or for everyone else? To be recognized by others at how far I've come? or to feel better about myself emotionally and physically. This is my time, this is my year. I'm finally choosing me. I'm doing this so I can feel better and be healthy. I'm grateful for the support I have and I definitely need it. But I finally am feeling like I want this for ME" Even though someday's I find myself thinking to myself "Is this all really worth it?" And I want to just give in and eat everything in sight, I KNOW that it is worth it in the end to stand strong. I already feel tons better physically. And I don't feel as disgusting when I look in the mirror.
I feel that this journey is more psychological then anything. If I can change my thoughts and believe that I can do it then It will happen. The most I've ever weighed is 240 lbs. I've already lost so much and have come so far over the last 2 years. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can actually see myself FINALLY achieving my goal. And that is what gives me that motivation to say no to all those treats, goodies, and junk food. My family told me on Sunday
"I didn't want to get or bring you a cupcake because I know you wouldn't really want it" they told me that it is making them think twice now before they get goodies, because of my example. And that's all that I want. I know how it feels to wake up and feel helpless and hopeless. I know how it feels to believe that I honestly can't do it. And to hate myself for giving in and to look at myself and honestly tell myself I am fat and ugly. But if, by my decision to follow through with this journey helps others to see that they can do it. That they can say no to over eating or no to a cupcake. It makes it that much better.
I Feel like I don't have much support from my family. It makes me feel bad at times. I talk to them about my success and I feel as if A. They don't care or B. as someone said to me it "makes them feel bad". How can I achieve this if what I'm doing is making other people feel bad? That makes me not want to succeed. I'm a people pleaser... I go to all the people at bootcamp for my support. I feel like I get great support from Chelsea, the 3 sisters, and others at the class. But not from anyone else. This is the deciding factor. Who am I doing this for? Myself? Or for everyone else? To be recognized by others at how far I've come? or to feel better about myself emotionally and physically. This is my time, this is my year. I'm finally choosing me. I'm doing this so I can feel better and be healthy. I'm grateful for the support I have and I definitely need it. But I finally am feeling like I want this for ME" Even though someday's I find myself thinking to myself "Is this all really worth it?" And I want to just give in and eat everything in sight, I KNOW that it is worth it in the end to stand strong. I already feel tons better physically. And I don't feel as disgusting when I look in the mirror.
I feel that this journey is more psychological then anything. If I can change my thoughts and believe that I can do it then It will happen. The most I've ever weighed is 240 lbs. I've already lost so much and have come so far over the last 2 years. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I can actually see myself FINALLY achieving my goal. And that is what gives me that motivation to say no to all those treats, goodies, and junk food. My family told me on Sunday
"I didn't want to get or bring you a cupcake because I know you wouldn't really want it" they told me that it is making them think twice now before they get goodies, because of my example. And that's all that I want. I know how it feels to wake up and feel helpless and hopeless. I know how it feels to believe that I honestly can't do it. And to hate myself for giving in and to look at myself and honestly tell myself I am fat and ugly. But if, by my decision to follow through with this journey helps others to see that they can do it. That they can say no to over eating or no to a cupcake. It makes it that much better.
I know hard times are going to come. I know this week I will have a day or 2 that I will just want to give up. Even if I make a mistake I know I can pick myself back up and get back on the horse. I really feel so grateful for the the 3fat2fit sisters for their example and support and their sincere desire to help others. And for Chelsea for showing me the blog. because I really feel without this program I wouldn't of been able to keep my motivation.
Staci Rachelle Huntsman
O Staci you are doing AWESOME!!!!!! I know you can do this you just have to stay strong like you did on your mission,i'm sure there were times you wanted to give up then to but you didn't you stuck at it til the end, and i know that you will with this too!!You go girl!! I'm proud of you :) Love ya, Paula
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